As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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