Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You made out with two different species that night
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
