he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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