Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
