what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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