Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
