i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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