Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
