I'm laying in your front yard are you home
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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