So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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