I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
found the other keg... it's in the tree
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
