She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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