I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
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I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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