if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
