they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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