I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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