After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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