I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
