I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
