We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
