Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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