no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
