great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
