Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
