He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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