I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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