just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
