Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Porn is love you can see.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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