Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I just threw up on my dentist
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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