i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
A+ Viking dick
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