Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
