please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
