The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Randomize
