So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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