gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
