I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Alive.
So much puke
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
