There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
