just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Randomize
