you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I wear drunk well.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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