the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
