literally had 100 drinks last night.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
