Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
