Jerry, you need to find god
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
