we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize