I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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