i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
