Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
How does one acquire holy water?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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