: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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