is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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