I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
