Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
