Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
