DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
