No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
