I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
