do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
