come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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