no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
