found the other keg... it's in the tree
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
